EFFYOU.ORG

A Big EFFYOU to Republican Representative Joe Barton for apologizing to BP

Fri, 18 Jun 2010 18:02:00 -0400

This is just EFFing crazy.

So, yesterday, previous EFFYOU winner, Tony Hayward, was testifying on the Hill and got a well-deserved grilling. However, one Repugnant Republican (Repugnican?) decided Obama was wrong to guilt BP into putting aside $20 billion to deal with the oil disaster it created… and apologized to Hayward for the “shakedown.”

Do you EFFING believe that??? WHAT AN EFFING WHORE for the oil companies.

Do we even need to be told he gets loads of “contributions” from the oil companies to stay in office? Of course not! But in case you’re curious, the number is $1.5 milion in “donations” that Joe Barton got for his campaigns over the quarter-century-plus he’s been in office—actually, that doesn’t seem like that much to buy your willingness to make an utter, complete ass of yourself in front of not only your constituents, but the world. I mean, really, $1.5 million for ignoring BP’s responsibility in what may very well be the worst ecological disaster in American history??

So, this EFFYOU goes out to Repugnican Joe Barton for being a cheap whore for the oil industry!

Got a suggestion for someone you think should get an EFFYOU? Or just submit them!

photo source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Joe_Linus_Barton-Congressman.jpg

PS: Originlly, in the title of this EFFYOU, Barton was referred to as a senator—that was incorrect. No senator would be so stupid as to do what he did. The title’s been fixed to reflect his lack of brain-matter.

piratekitten: BP CEO states “i want my life back.” i’m sure the...

Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:50:57 -0400

piratekitten:

BP CEO states “i want my life back.” i’m sure the animals (and workers) that have died as a result of the oil spill are thinking the same thing.

A special BONUS EFFYOU to Tony Hayward from EFFYOU.org for the comments he made to Fox News. YOUR LIFE IS OVER, SIR. FOR AS LONG AS YOUR BODY MAY FUNCTION IT MUST BE USED TO MAKE UP FOR THE DISASTER IT CAUSED.

MAY YOU NEVER HAVE ANOTHER PEACEFUL DAY FOR AS LONG AS PEOPLE SUFFER IN THE GULF BECAUSE OF YOU.

"BEYOND PETROLEUM," huh? This week's EFFYOU goes to TONY HAYWARD, "Executive Director" of BP

Wed, 19 May 2010 19:26:00 -0400

Holy cats, where to begin with this guy? First off, his company is responsible for the biggest oil spill since the Valdez (or bigger?) AND he doesn’t seem to have an effing clue what an ocean even is:

“The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean…

Whut?

The Gulf of Mexico isn’t an ocean at all and is “Considered a smaller part of the Atlantic Ocean,” according to Wikipedia. This guy is SHARP. It’s obvious how he got to the top of a major oil company… but wait—he goes on:

“…The amount of volume of oil and dispersant we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total water volume,” he said.

via guardian.co.uk

Uh-huh. I’m really starting to get why this leak happened—the company is lead by an idiot who defines “tiny” as more than 4.5 million gallons.

That number is likely low since it was reached by multiplying the 5,000 barrels/day times the three weeks the dark stuff has been spewing out of the ground. See, it turns out that the initial “5,000 barrels of oil per day” estimate was way low possibly one-fourth or one-fifth of what it should be. So figure four-to-five times that number and you’re looking at anywhere from 18 to 22.5 million gallons. There’s even talk that the four-to-five times numbers aren’t even high enough.

Sure, that amount of oil won’t kill loads of sea life for generations to come and thus ruin the fishing industry (and all the industries that support it)! Oh wait—YES, IT WILL.

Let’s take a look at BP’s response so far (this comes from their website, btw):

19,000 personnel deployed

750 vessels on site

1.7 million feet of boom deployed

158,000 barrels of oil-water mix recovered

120 flights to apply dispersant

17 staging areas set-up to protect shoreline

15,600 claims filed, 2,700 already paid

NICE. That works out to:

Do any of those 19,000 have a foolproof way to stop the spill, get the oil out of the gulf, AND prevent wildlife damage?
I sure hope none of those 750 vessels are leaking oil at all!
I’m sure that would be really impressive if I knew what “boom” was.
158,000 barrels of oil-water mix recovered?!?! I’m guessing there’s more water in those barrels than oil, since only 107,000 barrels (the low estimate) of oil have spilled into the Gulf, you *should* be nearly done—but we’ve seen the video of the hole in the ocean floor spewing oil, so keep on adding sea water to your totals.
120 flights to add more carbon emissions to the atmosphere and those dispersants aren’t exactly made of unicorn farts and fairy sweat.
17 staging areas to protect the shoreline will do the fish and other wildlife in the water and on the ocean floor a FAT LOT OF GOOD.
Wow—something tells me that 15,600 is just the tip of oil-covered iceberg.

You are really taking your responsibility as Chair of the GLOBE CEO Forum for Climate Change seriously, Tony! WELL DONE.

Just more evidence, not just that the emperor has no clothes, but none of us do, either! We’re being led by fools who know they are endangering lives and livelihoods, yet they march forward anyway, without even the proper reviews or the proper permits.

So,

EFF YOU, Tony Hayward!

May you lose your job and your freedom (yes, you need to be arrested) as you and your kind of businessman are dangers to yourselves and others!

EFFYOU Facebook! A ToS Violation Does NOT mean you get to call the cops!

Fri, 07 May 2010 17:34:00 -0400

According to a May 4, 2010 post at EFF.org (no relation to EFFYOU.org):

Facebook Tries to Make Violations of Terms of Use Into Criminal Violations

…

Power Ventures makes a web-based tool that users can set up to log into their multiple social networking accounts and aggregate messages, friend lists, and other data so they can see all the information in one place. In a lawsuit against Power Ventures, Facebook claims that Power’s tool violates criminal law because Facebook’s terms of service ban users from accessing their information through “automatic means.”

Emphasis added so you don’t miss the messed-upedness.

You know a company is too big when they start to think the law exists solely to protect their property (COUGHappleCOUGH). So, here comes Facebook trying to get the police on these Power Ventures guys just because they don’t like what PV is doing with their API. What’s next? Sending the FBI after Facebook users for lying about their birthdays?

And if wanting to turn ToS violators into criminals isn’t not enough of a reason to say EFF YOU to Facebook, there are others.

A big EFFYOU to APPLE, Inc for going after the little guys.

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:42:00 -0400

Will Gizmodo paying $5k on an iPhone prototype ruin your business? Will going after some lucky dude who found your iPhone prototype and sold it serve any purpose than to ruin this dude’s life?

Nah, of course it won’t.

Don’t be douchey, Apple! Let the case drop. This is the cost of doing business in a world where the bottom line is the most important thing.

Deal with it.

You’re not losing any money at all here. Grow up.

Oh and ditch iTunes while you’re at it. Why is it even called “iTunes” when you do video stuff with it, too??

Glenn Beck: Patron Saint of EFFYOU.org...

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 12:00:00 -0400

Who’s the first person I thought of when contemplating who should be the first person EFFYOU.org should say “EFF YOU” to? Why, it’s the first person you think of when you think of dumb-ass TV news these days, that’s who!